So you’ve been in a long-term relationship for what feels like FOREVER.
You’ve gone through the first battle, and then the second, third, fourth, and hundredth (hopefully unhurt), and now you’re at the end of the movie when the closing scene fades to black, and the romantic comedy ends.
Schedules, to-do lists, late evenings spent working, early alarm clocks, dishes to do, and errands to run are all part of everyday life now?
So, how do you maintain the romance when the romantic comedy becomes, well, your real life?
Sure, planning a fancy candlelit dinner or a weekend getaway with sun and lots of margaritas can temporarily restore the spark in a relationship, but what about keeping the spark alive in your inane daily routine—when there are no white beaches or spicy margaritas when you aren’t grilling burgers and gulping red wine by candlelight?
The lazy girl in me cringes at the following sentence, but the truth is that it takes effort to keep the spark alive.
The good news is that if you’re with the right one (dare I say, “The One”), it won’t feel like work.
Let’s understand why do people lose “their spark”?
Couples lose their spark for a multitude of reasons, such as long distances, clashing schedules, or the development of anger and doubts.
However, even in the best relationships, passion will fade if you don’t work on it. If you’re a scientist (which I obviously am not), think of it as a muscle: if you don’t use it, it weakens.
Not spending enough quality time together and focusing less on the relationship can leave you both feeling slightly dissatisfied, undervalued, or even miserable.
Rewind your rom-com and, make the “Sparks Fly” again with these 3 strategies to keep the romance alive in your relationship!
How can you keep the spark alive in your relationship?
1.Do something new, every week
To maintain “the spark,” you must first understand what it means to you.
Because everyone has a different love language, what makes you and your partner feel loved and valued may differ from one another.
This means that we offer and exhibit love in a variety of ways.
Instead of hoping that your partner will show you love in the way you desire or feeling resentment when they do not trust your relationship enough to ask for what you want.
Make it a game by thinking of something really specific that you each have to focus on for the week at the start of each week.
Perhaps you’d like them to plan a surprise date, send you flowers one day, or compliment your appearance.
Perhaps they’ll want more one-on-one time with you or more positive feedback on their efforts.
Although it is only meant to last a week, actions will teach your partner not only what makes you feel loved, but also how to make you feel loved.
If they see how pleased you are when they do something once or twice, whether it’s planning a date night or complementing the startling colour of your eyes, it will become a habit.
Further, Break out of your routine, whether it’s going to a different location or enrolling in a new cooking class.
Trying something new is not only thrilling and interesting but seeing your partner in a completely new situation will teach you things you never knew about them.
You never know, you might fall in love with them all over again… you’ve been warned!
2.Put your phone away
Okay, so this one could be a little clichéd.
I mean, you’ve been instructed to put your phone away at the dinner table since you were a teen—you’ve heard it from your mother enough, and you don’t need to hear it from me.
If I know anything about cell phone addiction (and I do), I know how simple it is for that sneaky little phone to sneak into your life while you’re watching Netflix, driving in the vehicle, or even eating dinner together.
As harmless as reel-scroll may appear, cherish every moment you have together.
When you’re having a meal, a chat, or a good old-fashioned binge-watching session, put your phone aside.
When you’re together, stay present.
Begin deep conversations.
Sharing a genuine, emotional connection requires talking about your future, caring about what’s on the other person’s mind, imagining together, or reconnecting about your relationship’s demands.
According to psychology, it takes five positive events for every one negative encounter (such as a fight or argument) to feel like you’re in a joyful, exciting relationship.
Even if it’s challenging, try to make the most of your interactions interesting, funny, or entertaining.
This can only happen when you have kept your phone down, right?
3.Spend some time alone
Whether your regular relationship is to spend every waking hour connected at the hip or you’ve been living thousands of miles away for years, time apart might be beneficial.
Even if it’s simply an hour at a hot yoga class, reading books, or a weekend away on a girls’ vacation, spending some time apart will allow your partner to miss you and vice versa.
Take some time to pursue a personal interest or hobby that you can do on your own. This can be a great way to relax and refocus your energy.
Doing your own thing will also provide you with something new to catch up on and discuss, breaking you out of your typical pattern.
I don’t think I need to suggest self-care, but taking time for yourself and doing what you want every now and then will boost your confidence.
And we all know what happens when a confident woman takes the lead… hey, spark!
Final Thoughts
In conclusion, it’s important to keep your relationship exciting in order to maintain a strong and healthy connection with your partner.
One way to do this is to spend some time alone together, without distractions like phones or other electronics.
This can help you connect on a deeper level and allow you to fully focus on each other.
Another way to keep things exciting is to put your phones away and focus on each other when you’re together.
This can help reduce distractions and allow you to fully engage in your relationship.
Finally, trying something new together on a regular basis can help bring a sense of novelty and excitement to your relationship.
This can be as simple as trying a new restaurant or activity, or as ambitious as planning a trip or taking up a new hobby together.
By making an effort to keep your relationship exciting, you can strengthen your bond and ensure that the spark never fades.
