Every discussion is an opportunity to create genuine, human connections, whether by maintaining existing relationships or making new ones, and meaningful talks can help us process and learn from our individual experiences collectively.
However, it can be difficult to move beyond the usual, “How are you? ”
It might be a daunting question at times. So we say, “Good!” or “Awesome,” because our true feelings are either too complex or too difficult to convey with others.
It’s even more difficult when the person we’re speaking with has opposing views on social and political matters.
We frequently find ourselves talking at, against, or over each other rather than with each other.
We miss out on learning from people who challenge our beliefs; interactions that enable us to think about our present perceptions, generate new ideas and grow cognitively.
How can having meaningful Conversations be helpful?
A good conversation, like a good relationship, establishes an environment in which both individuals feel appreciated and comfortable expressing themselves.
This trust provides a solid basis for the discussion to be built on. The good news is that the vast majority of individuals want to connect on a deeper level.
It allows you to learn and gain new perspectives. By engaging in conversation with people who have different backgrounds, experiences, and viewpoints, you can gain a deeper understanding of the world and different perspectives on a variety of topics.
This can help you to become more open-minded and empathetic, and can also help you to develop your own ideas and opinions more fully.
It can provide an opportunity for personal growth, self-discovery, and the chance to engage with others in a deeper and more meaningful way.
Here are some pointers to help you get started.
- Begin by being curious
Every discussion is an opportunity to learn something, whether it’s with your friends, family, or Uber driver.
We continue to talk because we are curious. In addition, when we are motivated to learn something, we recall it better.
Whether it’s about an experience you’re having, a location you’ve always wanted to visit, or something they saw on the news, it’s probable that the person you’re speaking to knows something you don’t.
Hence if you don’t know something, ask questions— if someone brings up a topic you wish to know more about.
Curiosity helps us feel more connected to the person we’re chatting with and moves the conversation beyond simple small talk.
- Avoid questions that are self-fulfilling or open-ended
We have a tendency to ask questions that project our own assumptions and biases onto others.
When we ask, “Did that make you angry?” or “Were you happy?” We will most likely receive a “yes” or “no” response.
Instead, asking, “How did that make you feel?” encourages the other person to take the lead in the conversation without being judged and to reply without the fear of being criticised.
Another example, is you might ask “What’s been going on in your life lately?” or “What are you most passionate about?”
Open-ended questions like these help the other person to process what they are experiencing and how they are feeling on a deeper level.
You should expect more complicated, surprising, and revealing responses this way, which will help you better comprehend and will allow the discussion to go deeper than a “yes” or a “no.”
- Let it go
Not every idea that pops into your head should be spoken out loud. It’s sometimes preferable to let thoughts pass without expressing them.
To make sure you don’t forget to share a funny comment or a joke, don’t stop listening to or interrupting the other person.
Allow the other person to finish their sentence before responding, and if what you had to say is no longer important or won’t advance the conversation, let it go.
Think about whether your idea could be misunderstood or taken the wrong way. If there’s a risk of this happening, it might be best to rephrase or clarify your idea before sharing it.
- Show empathy
Empathy is the ability to put aside one’s own judgments and understand the emotions of another person in the context of that individual’s particular experiences, viewpoint, and state of mind.
To sympathize, one must acknowledge that we are all critics and that actively attempting to keep that judgements in control requires a lifetime commitment.
When you listen empathically, you actively choose to accept the beliefs and values of others without passing judgement on them.
You are respecting their freedom to voice it and be heard even if you don’t agree with what they have to say.
- Be Present during the conversation
During conversations, it’s easy to let our minds wander, whether it’s thinking about the million items on your to-do list or the caustic email your boss wrote.
However, if your mind is elsewhere, you will not be totally attentive to the talk.
Avoid distractions like checking your phone or multitasking.
Remember that the other person’s time is as valuable as your own, so give them your whole attention.
This entails more than simply putting your phone away and maintaining eye contact. To truly listen is a mindfulness practise.
Don’t be concerned about what you’ll say next. You’re not paying attention if you’re waiting for the other person to stop talking so you may say what you’re thinking.
Instead, concentrate on what they’re trying to say to you and where they’re coming from.
Reflect more than you react. It’s normal to react emotionally to what others say.
However, in order to properly comprehend what someone is saying, we must allow them to explain (and occasionally figure out) their views.
So, before you jump to conclusions, consider why and how that individual formed their values and opinions. And, if you don’t know, ask questions to clarify.
Final Thoughts
To conclude, conversations may remind us that we are seen, heard, and cherished.
The way we listen and communicate with one another can have an impact on how we progress as individuals and as a community.
Conversations will bring us together if we are present and show up for each other.
